Odes, Toasts & Roasts by Jerry

If public speaking is the world’s #1 fear and death clocks in at #2, as Jerry Seinfeld hilariously reminds us, “This means, to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you’d rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy”. But Jerry Almeida ups the ante: “When I am delivering the eulogy with beautiful stories laced with humour, satire and wit, the person in the casket will also break into a smile.” Fun fact: a funeral oratory isn’t just hard—it ranks right up there with history’s most powerful speeches, like the legendary Pericles’ Funeral Oration of 431 BCE. That said, most funerals aren’t known for stand-up comedy… until Jerry steps up.

Are you looking to spice up your next celebration, commiseration, or corporate congregation with a sprinkle of wit and a splash of heart? Jerry Almeida turns events into unforgettable experiences, making him not just the “toast of the town,” but also the roast master extraordinaire—and yes, the occasion’s resident tearjerker, if required.

Jerry Almeida — celebrated and highly sought inspirational author, storyteller, and orator — transforms life’s milestones into unforgettable experiences of words, wit, and warmth. Known for raising heartfelt Toasts at weddings, anniversaries, and celebrations, Jerry also brings laughter and authenticity through interactive Roasts at corporate events, birthdays, and bachelor parties. Beyond celebrations, Jerry handles life’s most profound moments with grace — delivering soulful Eulogies and Tribute Lectures at funerals and memorial anniversaries that honour lives with dignity, depth, and compassion.

• Weddings anniversaries, silver/golden jubilees, and milestone birthdays? Jerry crafts Toasts so lively, even the champagne feels bubbly with excitement.
• Roasts at birthday parties, bachelor parties, hen nights, and corporate shin-digs? He’ll have your friends and colleagues laughing so hard they’ll need to check if their insurance covers “injury by wit.”
• Paying tribute at funerals, memorials, tribute or death anniversary lectures? Jerry brings solace and genuine warmth, skillfully weaving stories that honour lives lost—and, with his comic timing, sometimes makes mourners wonder if the dearly departed are giggling, gaggling, guffawing and literally ROTFL- Rolling On The Floor (Graveyard Floor)-, from beyond.

But wait—there’s poetic justice too! Jerry pens exclusive Odes, Poems, and Ballads, tailor-made for your occasion, every word capturing the spirit and sparkle of the moment. Want to frame the memory? Each creation is paired with an exclusive portrait by the renowned Dr. Harshaa, whose art makes every story pop (more than your favourite toast at a bubbly brunch). Whether you want to celebrate, reminisce, or just give your guests an ab-workout without going to the gym, Jerry makes every toast, roast, and ode a talking point long after the event. With Jerry, you’re not just getting a speaker. You’re getting an experience—where laughter is contagious, stories are unforgettable, and even the afterlife would RSVP “yes” if it could.

But wait—there’s poetic justice too! Jerry pens exclusive Odes, Poems, and Ballads, tailor-made for your occasion, every word capturing the spirit and sparkle of the moment. Want to frame the memory? Each creation is paired with an exclusive portrait by the renowned Dr. Harshaa, whose art makes every story pop (more than your favourite toast at a bubbly brunch). Whether you want to celebrate, reminisce, or just give your guests an ab-workout without going to the gym, Jerry makes every toast, roast, and ode a talking point long after the event. With Jerry, you’re not just getting a speaker. You’re getting an experience—where laughter is contagious, stories are unforgettable, and even the afterlife would RSVP “yes” if it could.